Hope

As we journey into the second month of the year, allow me to share honestly about what's been going on with this one little -but loaded- word...HOPE.

I FINALLY decided to bite the bullet and choose a new cell phone. Change is hard for me. I know this seems silly because it's just a phone but I knew how to use my old one. It still worked. Well I knew how to make it work (since water spilled in my purse and a few buttons no longer functioned). The thought of getting a new phone was simply not appealing to me... especially since they are getting more and more high tech...but after much debate and a stomach ache, I finally chose one. I had to fight through the first week of learning, needed a replacement (because the camera didn't work properly) but this new phone is growing on me...

The one thing that I really *LOVE* is the Bible app!
{If you don't have it and are able to get it...get it!!}

I signed up for a Bible reading plan and it has been really easy to keep up (actually I'm four days ahead) because whenever I'm waiting for preschool to end or a train to pass...I use the extra minute wisely and read another section.

*I must openly admit and apologize for all the times I thought it is terrible how you see a lot of people has their nose down in their phone all the time --and you MUST keep this balanced because we need to interact with people not phones--but maybe...prayerfully...they just might be reading their Bible app?? =) Maybe?*

So what does all this have to do with HOPE?

Well in addition to the Bible reading plan I was also reading a 3 day topical reading on HOPE

During this time-
{you know when I seemed to be so spiritual...reading my Bible app -4 days ahead *wink*}
I had this huge sin, blockage in my heart, looming over me and I didn't even realize it!

I am a fixer and I will push and pull my own way until I can fix it. I will finagle and work different options in my mind. I will google and look for answers. I'm strong minded and determined...and it's hard for anyone to change my mind once it's set. I've even been willing to go against my husband and fight to win the argument because (you know) I'm right and he is simply just wrong! I have justified this behavior because it really typically is for a good cause or to help a loved one. The big problem is...the big fat - I - that's in the center of all of it!

I exhaust myself just typing all that out...and it's ugly...but unfortunately it has been true.

The Lord has forgiven and the Spirit teaches...but how quickly we can fall back into that same old pit and last week...well, that's where I was rolling about.

There has been a (minor) issue that I wanted to fix with one of our children. It is something that will work itself out but I, in my Mama Bear self, decided to step ahead of the Lord and fix it myself. I didn't want to wait. Let's just take care of it.

I knew I was in the wrong....Spirit saying, wait...I wasn't lining up with the Lord. But I kept trying to fix and resolve. I still didn't see it for the sin that it was.

All week I felt sick. This Ohio weather goes from 60 degrees one day to 30 degrees and snow the next, so I have had a lot of drainage and my throat and ears were sore. Thursday things took a turn for the worst and Saturday I was sitting in on the white crinkled paper at Urgent Care.

I felt sick inside and out.

As I was waiting...I was reading through the HOPE verses on my phone. This is what I read

James 4 (MSG)
Get Serious

1-2Where do you think all these appalling wars and
quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about
because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust
for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't
yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.

2-3You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way.

4-6You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful
proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

7-10So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.

Oh how I love the LORD and He knows when I need a firm hand against my own sinful flesh! It was at this moment that I realized how defiant I can be against the Lord! How I can rebel and turn my own way...
My Hope is strengthened and grown through encountering God in situations like these! How faithful He is not to leave me in the ditch!

Romans 12-14 (MSG) So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit
beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

I love the Lord and His refreshing Word...
He is our HOPE! =)