There are times when I feel my prayers are foolish.
Sickness, barren wombs, starving children, broken hearts...death. This world is broken. So many hurts and so many needs. There are so many -life altering- important requests flooding the throne, that I often feel unworthy to ask.
Photo's of suffering children etched in my mind.
I ask the Lord to forgive me and He is so busy and there are MUCH more important business that He needs to attend to. I feel unworthy to ask for such petty things...and they are petty in the grand scheme of life.
Last week I was plucked up out of the pit once again. His love and grace overflowing which is something I don't deserve and certainly could never earn...He knows every dark corner of my heart. The minor issue that I wanted to "fix" was concerning my daughter Natalie. She loves horses! She was our first little girl and I threw everything frilly I could at her! We bought her the baby dolls and doll stroller. I showed her how fun it was to put your baby in the stroller and take it for a walk...I couldn't wait for her to play mommy! She took one look at me, tossed that baby right onto the floor and shoved her stuffed horse in that stroller and smiled! Spirit was almost on auto replay and she just loved horses from an early age!
That being said, she is now in 4H. We have had a hard time finding her a horse, to lease or buy and I was determined to solve this problem. Many obstacles were in the way and the financial worry of owning a horse loomed over me.
I felt the Spirit telling me to slow down...wait...but I ignored it.
Many many prayers have been prayed over this horse. Months - of - prayer! Now you know why I say that I felt foolish. It's just a horse for crying out loud! Yes it is something she wants and loves more than almost everything...but it's definitely NOT a need in life!
But once I stopped trying to force something to happen...once I yielded to the Spirit and aligned my heart with His. When I remembered His word and His faithfulness in EVERY SITUATION, I then relaxed and trusted that His perfect will for Natalie concerning this --would come, horse or not.
What a mess I would have made if I would have continued forward!
He loves His children...He desires to bless and bless abundantly!! It is I who usually hinders the full blessing which would be offered.
Natalie and I prayed together often. We crossed every discouragement and closed door. We continued walking forward and (once I fully surrendered) felt His peace. Whatever God held for her in this situation will greatly outweigh anything that we could force together! We will patiently wait...
Not even a week later...we met with a sweet-sweet man named Jerry. He is 70yrs old and *LOVES* his 7yr old paint named, Cocoa. (...and let me just add that Cocoa really loves her Daddy...) She hasn't had a job for most of her life...just time in the pasture.
God is so very good! Words simply can't describe my heart! I shared with Jerry how trying it has been to find the right horse and all the other worries that wrapped me all up. He shared that he too struggled with this decision. "Maybe it is just Divine Intervention." he said. I smiled -I know it is...
Small prayers and big prayers...they're all important! ALL a fragrant aroma flooding the throne of our Lord! We simply need to abide in Him! He just wants our all -every bit of ourselves to yield to His will. Sometimes He answers prayers right away and sometimes we need to wait. Sometimes He doesn't answer prayer the way we would like Him to but He is faithful, trustworthy and righteous! That's who He is, otherwise He would not be God!
He is faithful in the small and the big and by remembering the small things, gives me faith and HOPE to face bigger things that will come.
May we spend time tucked up into His lap today -pour out your whole heart, He is waiting...it's all important to Him because YOU are important to Him!